Crimson Hill Series (Book 7-9)

No More Mrs. Nice Girl
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Prologue

“Your year is up, Rodney Charming.” Noel White announced from the door of the pastor’s vestry. “Who will it be?”
“Huh?” Rodney dragged his eyes from the computer screen. He was reading about the sentencing of twelve accountants from his brother's old firm. One had gotten a ten year prison sentence for a first-degree felony charge. It was harsher than what he had thought would be meted out for a white-collar crime. His brother probably would have gotten ten years, too, if he were alive.
That would have been a hard pill to swallow for his sibling, who had been used to the finer things in life. Maybe it was for the best that they had met in that car accident in Canada. Roderick had lost his life, and Rodney had escaped with only a mild concussion.
“Don’t tell me you forgot?” Noel scowled. “You can’t forget stuff like this, Rodney. I have faithfully texted you at the start of every month, and you have ignored me.”
“What are you talking about, Uncle Noel?” Rodney asked. “You text me birdwatch every month. I just assumed you were into birds.”
“It’s not bird watch!” Noel growled, “It’s bride watch. Can’t you read, son? You have two doctorates; how can you mix up bride watch with bird watch!”
“Why would I be bride watching?” Rodney asked, further confused.
“Good God! That accident that took your brother's life has surely messed with your memory. I have never seen anything like it; you forget the conversations and dates we made. I cannot get used to it.”
Rodney sighed. “It’s true my head got banged up a bit, and I forget things, but it’s not as bad as you are making out.”
“It's bad, Rodney,” Noel sat down heavily in the seat across from him and sighed. “I am retired and nearing seventy-five, and I have a better memory than you do.”
Rodney sighed. “Can you kindly remind me what bride watch is about?”
“I called in favors abroad, and I leaned on the elders here to accept you into their ranks, with the provision that you would get married within a year. Think back, Rodney; they wouldn't budge on hiring you if you were single. So I told them to give you a year. Is anything coming back to you?”
Rodney opened his mouth and then closed it. “No, I absolutely forgot.”
“Do you recall why they fired you from being the head pastor of the university church?” Noel leaned forward. “Don't tell me you have conveniently forgotten that.”
“Well, I haven't forgotten,” Rodney mumbled.
“Just in case, let me give you a little refresher,” Noel said stoutly. “You called me a year ago frantic that you were going to go to jail because you were in a sexual relationship with a girl under the age of consent.”
Rodney winced. “Really, it was her word against mine.”
“Someone caught you two in your office and recorded it on their phone.”
“Ah yes, there was that.” Rodney inhaled. “I forgot about that.”
Noel glared at him. “When I arranged for you to come to Crimson Hills to cool off a little, I used all my clout with the church board to set you up here. Now it's time to fulfill your end of the bargain and get married before the year ends! I will not be made to look a fool, Rodney Charming.”
Rodney gulped. “Can you please speak in softer tones? I don't know if the church secretary is off the premises yet.”
“She is off. I just saw her drive out. Why was she working so late?” Noel asked, concerned. “She is a married woman, not a suitable candidate. I hope you are not fooling around with her.”
“She was working on our annual thanksgiving service program,” Rodney said faintly, “No, I am not having an affair with her. I am staying far away from women for the time being.”
“But you can't do that,” Noel frowned. “That is not a part of the deal. You promised me you would find a nice woman and start a family when you came here. But you have gotten too comfortable. Paul Hunt is gone to study, and you feel as if you have time. You don't have time, Rodney. They will get a local person in your place in a few days if you don't sober up.”
Rodney leaned back in his chair. “I don't understand. I am sober, straitlaced, and minister-like. I have never encouraged even one of the women who sniff around me with anything more than a smile.”
“That’s the problem,” Noel sniffed, “there is talk in some circles that you are gay.”
“Me!” Rodney laughed, “I have been called many things but never that.”
“I had the same reaction.” Noel chuckled. “If only they knew what I know, they would stop that nonsense. You made your brother look like a saint where women were concerned. I could never understand it.
“You are the one with several degrees in ministry and what not, and yet you could never find a woman who was satisfactory enough. You ruined some beautiful women in your time. They flock to you like ants to sugar, and they all got their hearts broken.
“And to think your accountant brother was the opposite. He married young, was faithful to his wife, loved her to death, and had a stable relationship. I wonder what went wrong with you?”
“I have no idea.” Rodney cleared his throat. “Roderick found his soul mate. It is a very rare thing. Finding a soul mate is not as simple as it sounds.”
“If he wasn’t a criminal, he would have been the better twin.” Noel sighed. “My poor sister was unlucky with her sons. I am glad she is not around to see this.”
“Now come on, Uncle Noel.” Rodney protested. “First of all, Roderick was not a criminal. He thought he was helping clients at his accounting firm. He did as he was told by the partners, no questions asked. Then when he found out what was going on, he resigned.”
“I can give him that.” Noel grunted. “He saw the writing on the wall and ran. It still doesn't negate the fact that he would be facing real jail time if he were alive, just like you. Maybe you two would have been cellmates. The Charming Brothers, identical twin boys who took different paths in life, one a pastor and one an accountant, both ending up behind bars. You can’t make this up.”
Rodney sighed and ran his hand over his face. “In my defense, that girl falsified her documents, got into the college, and targeted me from day one. Someone must have put her up to it to get me into trouble. I doubt she was fifteen years and eleven months old. She must have been the hardest-looking fifteen-year-old in the world.”
“I believe you.” Noel mumbled. “That is why I am helping you out. But my help is limited now. You have two weeks to get married. I have a list in my pocket.” He withdrew a piece of paper and pushed it across to Rodney.
Rodney took the list and looked at it in disbelief, Kim, Carmen, Hilda, Jill, and Farrah. All of them were perfectly fine women. The only problem was that he was not evenly remotely attracted to any of them.
He glanced at the photo of Lailah that was on his desk, Roderick's wife, the only woman he could foresee himself being with.
“I don’t like any of the women on here,” he passed back the list to his uncle. “Maybe with the exception of Jill Wimple. I do love her cooking and her pastries.”
“Then marry her,” Noel said solemnly.
“Marry her!” Rodney sputtered. “Are you out of your ever-loving mind? I am not even one percent attracted to Jill. And I have no clue how she feels about me other than the fact that I am always sampling her delicious food. How will I convince her to marry me in two weeks?”
“Use your charm.” Noel guffawed. “Isn’t that your surname? Your father sure knew how to use his. He got my levelheaded sister to leave her lawfully wedded husband out here and follow him to Canada just a week after meeting him.”
Rodney sighed. “What will happen if I don't marry Jill?”
“You’ll lose this job. If you try to work elsewhere, you’ll probably get caught and deported to Canada to face charges.”
Rodney gulped. The thought of prison gave him a fearful feeling in his gut. “I’ll marry her in two weeks. She likes me, I can tell. I'll tell her that the Lord told me she is the one.”
Noel nodded. “Make it a small private wedding. I’ll smooth it over with the brethren. I know you don't want the attention on you. Invite one or two key people so that there is no talk.”
Rodney nodded, staring at his uncle but not seeing him. How would he get Jill Wimple to agree to any of this? She was a sweet, unassuming woman who was passionate about baking and Bible study. She was easy to talk to and had a wry sense of humor. He liked Jill as a friend. She was one of the first people he had warmed to after fleeing ignominiously from Canada.
She was probably the only person that knew some things about his background. After a slice or two of her decadent chocolate cake, he was usually mellow enough to drop a few details about himself into the conversation.
Jill liked him. She stared at him with hopeless adoration. He couldn't break her heart; he had to find a way to marry her and not let her get attached to him. This situation he was in was only temporary, he hoped to resolve it soon, and Jill Wimple was not a part of his long-term plans.
How could he pull off a marriage of convenience to the nicest woman in Crimson Hills?